Crazy Hairdo, Crazier Head
Spector pinned down twins LaFlora and LaFauna like butterflies, trimmed their teeth, turned them in for the reward, and ran them into an unlit corner of the ring on sold-out Pay-Per-View. Someone said, “Hell no!” and called the cops. “Sorry my nieces are nuisances, officer.” Cops gave the girls back to Spector on a platter. If you keep your silver voice down, it don’t matter what’s in your hand. In Phil’s case, it was a suitcase, seeping, and a sawed-off shot gun cocked in broad daylight. Balls. Sirens near…disappear. As long as there’s cash in chemo, diseases will flow like springs—water bottled, poisoned, dyed hot pink and pumped through Spector’s sprinklers. “And he’s a mother on the mower,” says good-natured LaFlora with a wink while fetching the bastard’s hash and hammer. LaFauna nods behind the blindfold, holds her breath between concrete beams in the basement.
Some Things to Consider Before We Proceed
Certain birds make noises that sound like bombs dropping. But so do bombs. There are many good reasons that prostitution is illegal. If you’re “faking” Spanish 101, you’re on your way to “making” Spanish 101. But are you “on your way” to “being” Spanish? ¿Quién que coge sabe? Just because you don’t know there’s a squirrel trapped in the wall, doesn’t mean there’s not a squirrel trapped in the wall. If there’s a squirrel trapped in the wall, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a million squirrels trapped in the wall. If there are a million squirrels trapped in the wall, it’s only a matter of time before there will be an Elvis in the wall armed with a shotgun, a frying pan, a sack of flour, and a can of Crisco. Elvis can never be technically trapped anywhere. I believe this horoscope was written specifically for me. As was yours. Teeth and feet are of the utmost importance. A group of construction workers can watch an ass walk away infinitely. Sunrise….still the ass…sunset…still the ass…still… Meanwhile, what legs pass them by.
