Feral
Modifier.
1. Once domestic.
Ex. A house. A trampoline. A raised garden bed. A Ford Bronco. A Cabbage
Patch doll (its head of yarn, was hers, then mine, then gone). A gardenia bush.
A watch. A church. A tradition: sausage balls on Christmas morning.
2. Now wild.
Ex. Tongues. Open palms. Hooves. Toppled tables. Chipped teeth. Hind legs.
Baseball bat meets hood, sideview mirrors. Pride meets jaws & chests &
pummels what’s left. Kudzu, vivid even through winter.
3. A person cannot live on memories alone.
&
Momma wears a prom dress to her wedding. Fuchsia. 1991 & her puffy sleeves look
like the polyester kind that crinkle. Her arms are thin, her hair a blonde cloud.
Kitten-heeled, she stares politely, she smiles politely.
Daddy has a mullet, clean & soft. His eyes are small, lost in the babyfat of his face.
He’s 20 years old in the photo, but I cannot unsee the middle-aged man I know him to be.
I cannot untangle this boy from what he will do.
Colors & details are diluted by flash, a memory of memory.
Momma’s father cries in the background. I am in the photo, too, in a way. Cells
multiplying. This is as much a celebration of me as anything.
&
unweeded weeds unweeded weeds unweeded we unweeded we the unweeded we the
unweeded we the unweeded weeds we the unweeded weeds we weeds we weeds we
we un we the un weeded we weeds we weeds we the weeds we the unweeded we the
uns we uns we we we un un un we un we un un un un un un un un un un un un un un
un weeds un un un un un un un un un we un we un un un un un un un un un un un un
un un un weeds un un un un un un we un un un un un un un un un un un when I ask,
uns un un un un un un un un un un un she tells me she never really thought about it—
un un un un we un un un un un un un uns un un un un uns whether she wanted kids
we we we un un un un un un un un un un un un uns we sprouted, one after the other
weeds un un un un un un un un un un un un un uns uns un un un un sure as fleabane
&
I cannot decide: Do I come from a wilding or unwilding? A becoming or unbecoming
of nature? Their breath, stale as a boarded house—I do not blame them for not
knowing.
