Two poems (from The Sufferings of Young Hana /Trpljenje mlade Hane) translated from Slovenian by Martha Kosir
Hana and Rain
hana likes to sit on the balcony when it rains.
but she loves to jump in puddles even more, although
once she would have liked having rubber boots,
which would have
protected her from getting wet.
the rain calms her while she waits,
because it’s gentle.
because it falls.
because it breaks apart as it hits the ground.
just like her.
Hana in dež
hana rada sedi na balkonu med dežjem.
še rajši ima luže, v katere lahko skače, vendar
bi bila nekoč vesela plastičnih škornjev,
ki bi jo
varovali pred mokroto.
dež jo pomiri med čakanjem,
ker je nežen.
ker pada.
ker se razblini ob padcu na tla.
tako kot ona.
Hana and Lovers
she’s attracted mostly to older men.
those with more experience.
those who know how to destroy.
those she needs to crawl after
and feel humiliated.
she doesn’t care for a man who falls in love with her first and tries to court her.
she’s experienced that before and it hardly excites her,
it actually bores her to death.
she can’t stand to be loved more than she loves back.
she simply finds it unappealing.
she demands destruction, violence, and mutilation!
the other day hana met the man
she once had an interesting sexual encounter with.
they went for a ride in his big car,
and when they came back, exhausted and satisfied,
he paid her a thoughtful compliment,
as soon as I saw you, I knew. what did you know?
that you would be a good fuck.
later hana learned this man
had a wife dying of cancer.
this was sort of the highlight of hana’s humiliation.
maybe she thinks that someday a man will take care of her,
give her purpose, but ever since she read the book women as lovers,
her hopes for such a future have been shattered.
this is why she’s on her own.
unlike those who remain
ignorant of it all.
but if everyone else is like me,
then we’re all in this together, and
all is good.
Hana in ljubimci
privlačijo jo večinoma starejši.
takšni, ki so že dali nekaj skozi.
takšni, ki dobro vedo, kako uničiti.
takšni, za katerimi lahko klečeplazi
in se ponižuje.
ni ji zanimivo, če se moški prvi zaljubi v njo in jo osvaja.
to je že dala čez in pri njej ne vžge,
ker se potem vedno naveliča.
ne prenese, da jo ima kdo rad bolj kot ona njega.
v tem preprosto ne najde čara.
zahteva uničevalnost, nasilje in mrcvarjenje!
hana je ravno zadnjič srečala moškega,
s katerim je nekoč imela zelo zanimiv spolni odnos.
peljal jo je s svojim velikim avtom nekam na barje,
in ko sta se vračala, izmučena in potešena,
jo je kavalirsko pohvalil,
že takoj, ko sem te videl, sem vedel. kaj si vedel?
da boš dobro fukala.
kasneje je hana izvedela, da je ta moški imel žensko,
ki je doma umirala za rakom.
to je bil nekakšen višek haninega ponižanja.
morda misli, da bo moški nekoč skrbel zanjo,
ji dal smisel, ampak odkar je prebrala ljubimki,
so se upi na takšno prihodnost raztrgali.
zato ostaja samo sama.
kakor vsi ostali, ki se tega ne zavedajo
v tolikšni meri kakor hana.
ampak če so vsi ostali tudi sami kakor jaz,
potem smo vsi skupaj in
ni panike.
