[Like Tiny Tears]
I am not plastic, in any sense of the word! No shiny hair painted on a shiny head! No tiny holes in the corner of my eyes! Like Tiny Tears I do have a hole for a mouth—who doesn’t! Like Tiny Tears, if someone pushes on my stomach, I cry! Who wouldn’t! Unlike Tiny Tears I don’t have rock-a-bye eyes! And unlike my younger cousin, I ended up with a kind of knock off who only drank and peed! Like that no-named doll, I have a hole for peeing, but not on my butt!
Like the Easy-Bake-Oven, I am a hot toy. But not for you. Like the Easy-Bake-Oven, I am easy. But, not for you! Like the original Easy-Bake-Oven, I am incandescent and pale yellow. Like the Easy-Bake-Oven inventor, I, too, feel inspired by New York street vendors roasting chestnuts. Unlike the Easy-Bake-Oven, I’ve never caused anything to be amputated. Except for you.
[Like Doll-E-Drink ‘n’ Wet Set’s miniature evenflo]
Like the Doll-E-Drink ‘n’ Wet Set’s miniature evenflo, I am small, too. And will never be completely
empty. Even if you—yes, you–don’t tilt me back upright.